You may be asking yourself, "Do we really need premarital counseling?" I wholeheartedly believe the answer is yes! There are many misconceptions out there about starting therapy early in your relationship and I will address some of them here.
I've found THE ONE. Shouldn't our relationship feel easy?
There’s a common myth that once you find “the one”, life will be magical, easy, and carefree. Hollywood is great at selling us this myth. Happily ever after, right? But what happened after Cinderella’s wedding? What happens when Prince Charming continuously loads the dishwasher wrong? When they disagree on whether to send the kids to private or public school? When the King (Cinderella's father-in-law) continuously ignores boundaries and shows up unannounced?
Research shows that the average couple waits six years to address relationship issues. We also know that once resentful feelings set in, therapy can be more difficult and relationship satisfaction and longevity are less likely. If Cinderella and Prince Charming keep these issues quiet for six years, resentment is bound to set in. Relationships take work and the sooner issues are addressed, and positive habits are formed, the better chance for happily ever after. We open the door for meaningful conversations and practice building positive strategies on a multitude of topics including communication, conflict resolution, financial management, family and friends, sexual expectations, and more.
Doesn't premarital counseling need to be done through a church?
Premarital counseling is not a new concept; many churches will offer, encourage, or even require it before agreeing to perform a marriage. However, today, fewer couples are choosing to get married within a church, choosing non-religious venues and officiants like judges or even friends or family. As a Marriage & Family Therapists, I am experienced in tailoring therapy based on a couple's unique needs, backgrounds, and belief systems and even create space to discuss religious and spiritual differences. I also believe in establishing a relationship with a couples therapist to support a couple through the longevity of their relationship.
Therapy is expensive, right?
Planning a wedding is undoubtedly an expensive time in one's life. The average wedding in Kansas City for 100-150 guests costs $36-40,000. It can be tempting to try to find places to cut corners. The Prepare/Enrich program I follow for premarital counseling is one of the most heavily researched programs to help insure longevity for the marriage, not just the day. I can tailor a package for you which includes the premarital assessment, in-person or virtual sessions, and a digital copy of the Couples Workbook that will be a valuable resource when stress takes over. This package is billed per session (not upfront) and will only cost 1-2% of the average wedding budget. You may also be able to utilize an HSA card or request reimbursement from your insurance company. Contact me to walk through your options!
I often compare couples therapy to maintaining a car. You wouldn't spend $40,000 on a shiny new car and drive it until it falls apart, leaving you stranded on the side of the road. You take it for regular oil changes, rotate the tires, maybe wash and vacuum and put in a new air filter once in a while. A relationship deserves to be nurtured and protected in the same way. Should you have any questions or want to get started, please contact me to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation to see if we might be a good fit.
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